Combining facials with cross stitch

And by facials, I'm not talking about the oatmeal & honey kind.

Now everyone has their "rules" about what they'll do or not do regarding sex. This is one of mine. I've always found it gross & degrading, and I highly doubt a woman who says that she's into a guy jizzing on her face. Because, seriously. Who wants that?

Oh, hello cross stitch. I missed you.

It had been too long...way too long since I had gone on a cross stitching binge. I'm still in the throes of it, but I thought I'd post a few that I've done in the past couple of weeks.
First up, a custom order for my friend. This was inspired by an actual sign in Alabama (BIBLE BELT REPRAZENT!)

I accidentally made it heart shaped. But ya know, I think that's kinda perfect. Wanna see the sign that it's inspired by? Sure you do!
If there's one thing I love about living in Alabama, it's the hilarious church signs. Fucking priceless. I'm thinking about making another one to add to my Etsy shop...hmm...maybe...

Now here's one that I recently added. I had already done the quote before but I thought I'd do another & change it up a bit. This was a quote from Tina Fey & goddamn, I just thought it was hilarious & so SO true. Check out the skit here. And ok, yeah, I changed "stuff" to "shit". Thought it had a better ring to it. So sue me. don't sue me.

available @ my Etsy for $17!

Going back to the church-y kinda stuff, I took inspiration from one of my husband's old T-shirts & made this little gem. The lesser known 11th commandment!

available @ my Etsy for $16!

I really really love this one. I was going for that stone tablet appeal. Well, for the font at least.

And then I was inspired by one of my all-time favorite video games, Super Mario Bros 3. Now, I think that across the board, gamers hate water levels of all kinds. But man, I really think the water levels in SMB3 are a real fucking bitch. Thank jeebus for the frog suit.

available @ my Etsy for $16!

I cannot tell you how many times my husband & I have uttered these words. Ugh. Fucking HATE water levels.

I'll be listing at least one more cross stitch this week. Keep those eyes peeled!

New scarves!

I've made 3 new scarves for the ol' Etsy shop! Guess what? They're also on sale! Only $15...stock up for the winter!




And don't forget, my cross stitch sale ends Wednesday! There's still lots of great items left. Here's some of my faves

only $12.50 till Wednesday!!

The last remaining section of the Christian Bale rant, only $10 till Wednesday!

only $8.50 till Wednesday!!

Cross stitch Ca-RAAAZY

So it seems that I've completely immersed myself in the last 2 weeks or so in cross stitch. I think I may need a little break afterward so that I can concentrate on you know....getting my cosmetology license & stuff. Important things need to happen soon. So anyway, I had just an urge to continuously create, some are ones I've done before, on those days where I wasn't feeling especially creative but still wanted to do something & the others are custom orders.
Probably my all time favorite word to say AND stitch. The person who ordered these wanted them unframed (which makes it look unfinished to me :( but whatev) & she wanted them to look like a set.

Definitely could've taken better pictures....but she loved them & that's what matters! I totally loved what she actually wanted them to say too. Anyone that's as vulgar as I am is awesome in my book! At first I was confused on the "Jesus Fuck" thing, but from what I understand it's basically a jumble of cursing. I imagine it to be a frustrated curse like, "Jesus....FUCK!" but that's just me.

Now this is still one of my favorite pieces ever. It caused kind of a stir on Craftster (although I think any mean comments were deleted) & even had a few morons show up on my blog post about it. For the most part, I got very positive feedback & it quickly left my Etsy shop & into the arms of Crafty Dame (hope you love it, Amy!)

available @ my etsy for $25!

Fucking RIGHT!

Anyone hate World of Warcraft? I'm sorry, I know millions upon millions of people play & it's just the coolest game in the fucking world to some people but...shit's retarded. I've never been into MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game) because I would rather do other things instead. I dunno, maybe I'll just always be a Nintendo fangirl & think other games are totally worthless. My husband plays it so that gives me permission to hate on this game.

available @ my etsy for $25!

I've been wanting to do an atheist/agnostic piece for a while & decided to stitch this cute little guy up.

available @ my etsy for $5!

It's little. The frame is 2 inches, I believe. I like it though! My initial description on Etsy was something along the lines of "men who wear sandals get what they deserve". It's supposed to be a joke, but maybe it's not a very well-known joke? Either way, my own mother didn't see the laugh value in it, so I took that part out. Only for mom! While I do understand that a lot of my stuff is offensive, and I like it that way, I don't want to totally turn people off...am I making any sense? I don't want people to think I'm a jesus hating bitch, I guess. Although I absolutely am against organized religion & I'm very open about being agnostic. Hey, that's what happens when you attend Christian schools as a kid.

Oh! And on a totally different subject, I got my leg finished!

Thanks CW! Hopefully that will satiate my tattoo needs for a little bit because I am a broke as hell.

Now I must go & continue studying for State Board exams. Whoopy!

More sections of the Christian Bale rant...and MORE!

Yes, slowly but surely, I'm getting more & more of the rant done! I have a couple more in mind & will hopefully be able to take a group shot soon!

available @ my etsy for $20!

I really liked doing the border on that one....looks like purple snowflakes to me.

available @ my etsy for $20!

And I like the little birds squawking at each other :) This one is one of my faves!

So yeah, I should be getting the rest finished soon. I just wonder if they'll actually sell?

I did make a couple more cross stitches for Etsy! They're a little more gangsta gangsta than the rant, ya heard!

First one was inspired by Trina & all her raunchiness. A little background: me & my friends thought Trina was absolutely fucking hilarious & this song became our theme song.

available @ my etsy for $17!

That frame just totally caught my eye & knew that something 'diva-ish' needed to go in it. I usually don't look at a frame & say,"Yes! I know exactly what to do with it!" I usually just look at a frame & think,"That looks cool..." That's as far as I go with the frame buying. But this one was....different.

Then of course, Pimpin' Ain't Easy seemed like a natural follow up. I liked the font...it's all girlie, flowery, & pretty!

available @ my etsy for $20!

That's all the crafts for now! I'm getting kinda tired of cross stitch so I may be doing more embroidery soon. I've been so busy with work lately that I haven't made a whole lot of time for crafting.

And soon I have to start studying for my state board exams! Yay! Soon, I will be a licensed cosmetologist. So far, I really really enjoy the job. I've started at a Paul Mitchell salon & work with some really cool chicks, one being the friend that got me the job in the first place! So nice to work around girls that all get along. Also, having a job where I can dress however I want, have as many tattoos & piercings as I want, listen to whatever music I want...is so very awesome!

So I have a question for you all that still read this...Should I continue to do Things I Love Thursday? I know I've neglected to over the past few weeks...I'm wondering if I should pick it up again?

For fuck's sake, man, you're amateur

Hello all! I feel like it's been too long since I had a craft related post, so here's the goods! As some of you may know, I've been doing sections of the Christian Bale rant. If you haven't heard it yet, you live under a rock. Just kidding, you can hear it in all it's glory here. Believe me, if you love the word fuck, then you'll love the rant! This one is one of my personal favorites..

available @ my etsy for $20!

Then this one just had to be done.

available at my etsy for $20!

I've started on another one & hopefully it will be done by tonight! I'm having a hard time finding cool borders so if you guys know of any sites or books I should get, holla!

I tried my hand at stitching fabric onto a onesie. It went...ok. It could've turned out better, but I'm still pleased with it! I should've used my sewing machine, but I didn't, so it ended up with some puckering & bubbles. I still think it's a pretty fucking sweet onesie though! If I had a kid, it would totally be rocking stuff like this. It really doesn't look as crooked in real life :)

available @ my etsy for $15!

Who doesn't love robots? Who doesn't love lovebots? I really liked stitching this one! I used split stitch, back stitch, & satin stitch. LoveBot was even featured on Feeling Stitchy! Pattern by Urban Threads

SOLD!

I even did one of those cool sidewys shots I see! Haha!

Remember those patches I had a few entries back? Well, I took the advice & made them into brooches. Buy some! They's cheap!

available @ my etsy for $3 each!

Yep, this little break has kept me a busy girl! I've really enjoyed being able to craft as much as I have been lately.

On a non craft related note, I got my leg worked on Wednesday. This was a graduation/birthday present :) First session is done! This is my family's coat of arms. A lot of my tattoos are family related. The flowers on my arm(there's pictures on the blog somewhere) each represent a member of my family, and they're their birth month flowers. Back to the family coat of arms...Manu Forti means "With a strong hand". I love it & can't wait to see it finished!

What I did yesterday

So I didn't go to school yesterday because Will was supposed to have a root canal so I was going to of course, be his caretaker & chauffeur to & from the dentist. I figured he would be gassed & be pretty loopy afterwards. I wanted to stick around to see that! Well, his insurance wouldn't cover the procedure until after April 1st. Isn't that some bullshit? I hate waiting periods for insurance. I hate having to have insurance, period. Especially since mine went up $30 dollars this year. Ugh.

Where was I?

So I was gonna stay home anyway. I thought I might as well get some craftin' done!

And craft I did. I got 3 projects knocked out yesterday!

available @ my etsy for $15.00!

I thought this was a funny one to do & then it came to me that it was especially funny with the hoes vs. hos debate! I really hope no one takes offense to it though, because..that's not the point. Anywho, it was a quickie & i think the font is cute & the border's cute & four letter words are my favorite kind!
I even thought it was a Mitch Hedberg quote, but it's not.

I am in love with this scarf pattern! I need to find another different pattern before everyone's fucking tired of seeing the same open-work scarf over & over again. This one is MINE though, bitches! Also, I've decided that I put my hands on my hips A LOT. I may need to find something to do with my arms. Besides putting them on my hips.


I also did another "literal" embroidery! This shirt kind of goes with these panties & this shirt. I really really like it! This is such a ridiculous picture of me haha...Will told me to "strike a pose" and I came up with this one. I call it "contemplative" or "pretentiously looking away". I started off working with a stabilizer & it was just not working for me. I was getting pissed. So I unhooped it & ripped the stabilizer out & started again. You know what? It was so much easier! Now, I stretched that shit tight over the hoop which probably isn't a good idea because it might be permanently stretched but mine bounced back! I'm happy! Another shirt salvaged. :)

Here's a shitty close up..

I stuck with the same color scheme as Jenny Hart's & I really like how it turned out!