For fuck's sake, man, you're amateur

Hello all! I feel like it's been too long since I had a craft related post, so here's the goods! As some of you may know, I've been doing sections of the Christian Bale rant. If you haven't heard it yet, you live under a rock. Just kidding, you can hear it in all it's glory here. Believe me, if you love the word fuck, then you'll love the rant! This one is one of my personal favorites..

available @ my etsy for $20!

Then this one just had to be done.

available at my etsy for $20!

I've started on another one & hopefully it will be done by tonight! I'm having a hard time finding cool borders so if you guys know of any sites or books I should get, holla!

I tried my hand at stitching fabric onto a onesie. It went...ok. It could've turned out better, but I'm still pleased with it! I should've used my sewing machine, but I didn't, so it ended up with some puckering & bubbles. I still think it's a pretty fucking sweet onesie though! If I had a kid, it would totally be rocking stuff like this. It really doesn't look as crooked in real life :)

available @ my etsy for $15!

Who doesn't love robots? Who doesn't love lovebots? I really liked stitching this one! I used split stitch, back stitch, & satin stitch. LoveBot was even featured on Feeling Stitchy! Pattern by Urban Threads

SOLD!

I even did one of those cool sidewys shots I see! Haha!

Remember those patches I had a few entries back? Well, I took the advice & made them into brooches. Buy some! They's cheap!

available @ my etsy for $3 each!

Yep, this little break has kept me a busy girl! I've really enjoyed being able to craft as much as I have been lately.

On a non craft related note, I got my leg worked on Wednesday. This was a graduation/birthday present :) First session is done! This is my family's coat of arms. A lot of my tattoos are family related. The flowers on my arm(there's pictures on the blog somewhere) each represent a member of my family, and they're their birth month flowers. Back to the family coat of arms...Manu Forti means "With a strong hand". I love it & can't wait to see it finished!

What I did yesterday

So I didn't go to school yesterday because Will was supposed to have a root canal so I was going to of course, be his caretaker & chauffeur to & from the dentist. I figured he would be gassed & be pretty loopy afterwards. I wanted to stick around to see that! Well, his insurance wouldn't cover the procedure until after April 1st. Isn't that some bullshit? I hate waiting periods for insurance. I hate having to have insurance, period. Especially since mine went up $30 dollars this year. Ugh.

Where was I?

So I was gonna stay home anyway. I thought I might as well get some craftin' done!

And craft I did. I got 3 projects knocked out yesterday!

available @ my etsy for $15.00!

I thought this was a funny one to do & then it came to me that it was especially funny with the hoes vs. hos debate! I really hope no one takes offense to it though, because..that's not the point. Anywho, it was a quickie & i think the font is cute & the border's cute & four letter words are my favorite kind!
I even thought it was a Mitch Hedberg quote, but it's not.

I am in love with this scarf pattern! I need to find another different pattern before everyone's fucking tired of seeing the same open-work scarf over & over again. This one is MINE though, bitches! Also, I've decided that I put my hands on my hips A LOT. I may need to find something to do with my arms. Besides putting them on my hips.


I also did another "literal" embroidery! This shirt kind of goes with these panties & this shirt. I really really like it! This is such a ridiculous picture of me haha...Will told me to "strike a pose" and I came up with this one. I call it "contemplative" or "pretentiously looking away". I started off working with a stabilizer & it was just not working for me. I was getting pissed. So I unhooped it & ripped the stabilizer out & started again. You know what? It was so much easier! Now, I stretched that shit tight over the hoop which probably isn't a good idea because it might be permanently stretched but mine bounced back! I'm happy! Another shirt salvaged. :)

Here's a shitty close up..

I stuck with the same color scheme as Jenny Hart's & I really like how it turned out!

Hey, remember when this was a craft blog?

I feel like there has been a lack in craft-related posts lately, so I figured I'd go ahead & show some of the stuff I've finished lately!

First up, the apron that I talked about making for my friend, Marlena..I finished it a looooong time ago & she's received it & loves it. Score!

Here's the whole thang
Kind of a shitty picture, but you get the idea! I was really happy with it, even though embroidering those pockets were a BITCH.





Then there is my Colbert cross stitch. I love Stephen Colbert, who doesn't? I had to stitch up one of his infamous intro phrases, the newest one being "Factose Intolerant"

available @ my etsy for $20.00!

Had to go with the red & blue border, of course :)



Then I made the nerdy HTML cross stitch which translates to end patriarchy. I dig it! I'm on this black & white cross stitch kick right now & I love it, especially with the white frame.

available @ my etsy for $15.00!

What else, what else....oh! I added a new scarf! I've been in the knitting mood lately, I even have another pretty scarf to add, but I need to take some pics first...here's my Chocolate & Cotton Candy scarf.

available @ my etsy for $23.00!

Snarl for the camera haha! It was actually really cold that day so after Will took my shop picture I had to throw my hoodie on. Can you tell how short I am? I think I look crazy short in this picture, but that's ok, because I am crazy short. And yes, I just keep getting more & more blond. It's practically white!

And the other night I did a quick little embroidery for a shirt that needed a little makeover. I hadn't embroidered in so long! It was really nice, I forgot how much I enjoy it...and now I feel like I have a whole new shirt!
I love embroidering clothes. Now I plan on tackling some of my skirts with more of the anatomical patterns...love em!

So there ya go guys, finally a good hefty craft update. I'm working on my first open-work scarf right now & I'm really pleased with how it's turning out & how easy it is! I also am just about finished with a cross stitch (I think I found my favorite font!) & I already have another one in mind. And now that I finally have some time off, I can work on them rather quickly! Yay!

A whole bunch o' scarves added to my Etsy!

So I decided I would go ahead & try to sell all of the scarves I had knit on Etsy...why not? I can always make more for myself! Modeled by me & my gorgeous man ♥

available @ my Etsy store for $20.00

available @ my Etsy store for $15.00

available @ my Etsy store for $12.00


available @ my Etsy store for $20.00

available @ my Etsy store for $20.00

Haha, poor Will was all squinting into the sun. He doesn't have big ass shades like I do!

I also embroidered a cute little baby shirt. I had tried a onesie but it was a total fail. I had tried to embroider using all 6 strands & I think that was a problem. I also was trying to embroider on a very poor quality cheap ass onesie (yeah, I'm blaming the onesie too!) So I tried the t-shirt using just 3 strands & that worked sooo much better! Brook, what's your secret?!

available @ my Etsy store for $10.00

God, having onesies & the tiniest of baby t-shirts is NOT a good idea in our house! The whole time I'm looking at them thinking, "Awwww...we should...maybe...nooooo not yet!" Haha!
I've done a few things already with brass knuckles but I just love them!

So one of my friends wants me to stitch an apron for her & I'm so excited! I think it's gonna turn out really really cute. I'm not sure what exactly I want to stitch on it, but I've got plenty of ideas! I'm also going to be making some wine-themed towels for my mom soon. Blech, I hate wine but she loves it! I got the pattern for that from Aunt Martha's Wine Country transfers. Looks like I'll be busy for a little bit!

disconnect

i'm back on the interwebs!

wow. i've been off for about a week. is it sad that that's a long time to me? don't answer that.

it's actually been really really nice. i've gotten to spend some time with my husband, i read a lot, i played a lot of video games (super mario 2 & 3 for the WIN!) . it was awesome. i deleted old livejournals, then undeleted them :) , ate a lot of kiwi & strawberry shortcake, slept in, & generally felt really good! don't think i let the week go by without a lot of crafting going on either...i was a busy girl!









i made this for a sister of a girl i go to school with. she really liked my other jay z cross stitch so she wanted a pillow! well, i wasn't about to try something like that & have it end up a mess. so i just embroidered on a pillowcase i got from sublime stitching! i hope she likes how it turned out..and she even bought it from me! my first sold piece!




i wish i was better with lettering. i just can't seem to figure out how to get it lined up straight & centered. but i was really happy with the heart! i used chain, stem, back, & split stitch. i now LOVE chain & stem stitch! i can't believe i'd never tried chain stitch either. and i used to hate stem stitch. who'd have guessed they were my favorite in this project!










i love these, seriously, so much! they look a lot better in person though haha. it was all done in satin stitch, which i think i'm getting better at. i just thought it needed satin stitch. nothing else would do it justice. i'm really really happy with how they turned out! i just knew that pattern would be perfect for panties :)